Ladies, have you ever said to yourself, I Know My Worth? Most women do this at some point in life. However, do you know the difference between worth and value?
If you have ever found yourself saying "I KNOW MY WORTH," understand the following please: WORTH and VALUE are two different things. Worth is determined by YOU. VALUE is determined by the marketplace or what the market can afford. In a buyer's market, the buyer has more leverage on determining the actual value versus the perceived value. In a seller's market the seller has more leverage in determining value. As a single black man in America, I have to say it, IT'S still a buyer's market. Many women have WORTH mixed up with VALUE. I understand what you feel about your worth my sister, but let's take a closer look at why your VALUATION in the marketplace is not coming up near your personal listing price that you say you're WORTH. I'll use real estate to further paint my picture. 1.) Number of owners/renters/partners (1 or 2 owner home or has it been a rental with multiple short-term leases). I think this is self-explanatory! 2.) Appearance - Have there been any updates? Well maintained? Does it look livable and appealing? Also, is the outer appearance congruent with the inner workings of the home (heart & mind). Is the home in good structural health? Foundation? Electric? Plumbing? 3.) How long has the home (You) been available on the market? The question gets asked because someone is thinking, 'why is this lovely woman/home still on the market?' 4.) Number of utilities & expenses? As a landlord, one of the main questions I get is, "What are all the bills I have to pay; lights, water, gas, trash, sewer, lawn service, etc.?" It's the same way when it comes to a man who is looking for a mate. What all am I going to have to pay for and deal with in order to maintain this relationship? Is it in my budget? Number of Children, car notes, phone bills, etc. 5.) Location or community. This equates to the other nuances that come along with a community or individual. When entering into a relationship both parties bring with them, their past experiences, problems, mental and physical insecurities, health, family, friends, habits, etc. Many times, until you actually move in the neighborhood and stay for a little while, you don't know the real potential issues, of all kinds, that you may have to deal with. Location and community are both determining factors in the valuation of the property; whether it's for sale or rent. It's the same when it comes to relationships. 6.) What do you offer that's not readily available elsewhere? There are many intangibles within certain homes that must be communicated in order for the ready and available buyers/(men) in the marketplace to put in real offers, and are in a position to move forward. Otherwise, the home will stay on the market. Not only will a potential buyer not see your true value, but he won't even be able to know your worth! To sum it all up, know that while YOU may know your WORTH, until some changes and adjustments are made, if you're wanting a certain kind of renter or buyer, you're going to have to increase your VALUE in the marketplace, and be able to somehow communicate why YOU! And in order to do this you may have to have a few showings and open houses, then accept some applications. 😊😘 Until next time! Figure out your value in the marketplace, instead of shouting "I KNOW MY WORTH!" Because even if you do, as a man, I don't. And therefore, can only offer what I have or what comparable homes in the marketplace are on the marketplace for at the same time. #claimtheincrease #seeyouatthetop #dontletnobodykillyourdreams #staypositive #keepthefaith PS - One of my most important books, This Is Why I Won't Marry You deals in detail, the top reasons why men and women choose NOT to marry certain individuals. It's some of my best work and took 5.5 years to compile. You can purchase it here!
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Relationship Advice of the Day: People can't give you what they don't have. So, don't take it personal when you love someone and they don't reciprocate. The more and more I live, travel, speak, and coach different individuals, couples, small business owners, etc., I realize a lot of people have not experienced real unselfish and unconditional love from the opposite sex. Therefore, while they want unconditional love from others, they give conditional love. As much as we would like to think everyone knows how to reciprocate love, this is not true. And those who do know how to do so, many times there has been so much hurt on top of hurt from each time they trusted their heart with someone else, that their subconscious mind sends them into fight or flight mode. Meaning, they will either run from love or find a reason to be mean and ugly toward the other person who is trying to love them, unconditionally. This is usually recognizable by the person shooting down or minimizing kind things that are done for them or said to them. For example, you'll say something good to them and in turn, they'll say something in return to diminish the compliment that you gave. Sometimes, in real bad cases of hurt, shame, and bitterness, they will feel uncomfortable for you saying something good about them, especially if you're complimenting them in an area where they may have been criticized for many years. They are insecure in that area of their life and it will show. It is natural to say good things to someone, especially if you love and care about them. This is the reason most children will hug and kiss you every single day of their life until and unless someone else tells them otherwise. It is the natural thing to do. However, when an individual starts to receive the opposite of good, clean, powerful, and positive words from others, while it may hurt a little in the beginning stages, unless someone comes along and reminds this person of who they truly are (a physical manifestation of LOVE) as soon as possible, they will believe the lies that they are anything other than wonderful and those words begin to hurt a whole lot. If you hear every single day --- you are ugly, your nose is big, your momma/daddy ain't nothing and they don't love you, you're fat, you, you're poor, you're never going to be anything in life, you can't do math or read because your slow, or whatever else you hear about yourself from others --- you're going to start to believe the words and those words are going to subconsciously become the norm for your life. Sadly, no matter where you go or where you end up in life, until you overcome this, the words from those individuals is going to shape your self image, self-esteem, and self-worth. Well, it is the same way with love and relationships. So, you will attract whatever you're used to because it is the norm. Until real inner development begins to takes place, you're going to continue to attract the kind of situations that will reflect your low self-esteem, insecurities, and over self worth. Not so much that it's what you want, but because it's the level you are used to or what the individuals around you are used to (friends, family, etc.). And both of these are usually predicated on your self-image, surroundings, and your ability to GIVE and RECEIVE love. A man/woman who desires a healthy relationship MUST understand that HEALTHY relationships are predicated on a healthy self-image, healthy and regular communication, respect, forgiveness, and the ability to love unconditionally. You will have a very hard time ever having a healthy relationship without either of these at the foundation of the relationship. No matter how good the sex is or how much money either of you have, without these things at the core of the daily interaction, you'll end up hurting yourself and/or the other person even more from the relationship as opposed to helping. Until you're healed, you bleed on everyone you try and love! If you have HEALED from the hurt (or you're pretty close) and pain from your past, you will know it because the desire to give and receive unconditional love will be present. Plus, the inclination to be vulnerable will be present, and it will cause you to feel some type of way because you won't be able to explain it. Water seeks it's own level; Love does as well. Therefore, if you want a better man, become a better woman. If you want a better woman become a better man. If you're currently in a relationship, and want it to be better, try your best to bring your best self to the relationship, daily. And when you do this, it will become a habit and therefore force the relationship to improve! You can't give a half-hearted effort and expect for anything to actually work, especially not a relationship. After knowledge of your issues, don't use them as an excuse to not LOVE at the highest level. Doing so means you're now allowing your past to control your present, and as long as you do that you'll never experience the love you truly desire. While love is not contingent on reciprocity, when two people are "IN LOVE" it is rooted in reciprocity, a universal law. It feels natural and easy! In conclusion, Remember.... "People can't give what they don't have! So don't get upset when you love and care for someone who has no love to reciprocate. By the time you meet most good hearted people nowadays, they've had the love misused and abused out of them for so long that your genuine love and concern will seem like manipulation, and ultimately... too much like right." #ArmaniValentino Until next time... --- Check out my latest blog at www.armanivalentino.com/blog #noego #nocomfortzone #iallowmygood #iembracetheunknown #1 Amazon.com Bestseller, Amazon.com International Besteller - The Love Triangle: How to Heal from a Broken Heart (Hurt, Shame, Bitterness, & Betrayal)It is my intent to help you heal from a "broken heart." A broken heart can be devastating. It can cause one to lose the desire to live. It can also cause lack of ambition, loss of or increase in appetite, and numerous other destructive behaviors. Hopefully, the words that are on the pages in this book will be just the guide that you are looking for to help you heal from your broken heart. This book was actually supposed to be out before now, but I was distracted once I started writing and producing my first play. However, for my own life, the completing of this book was right on time. Why do I say that? While much of the book was written on experiences from the distant past, after going back to complete the book, my more recent broken heart was actually healed from this process once again. So, does it work? I would have to say, Yes! No matter how dark things may seem in your life, things will turn for the better if you change the focus. Learn from all and appreciate all that you have experienced in your life. Life Advice of the Day DON'T MISS ANOTHER SEASON! Contrary to popular belief, you can miss a blessing. You often hear people preach and teach that what God has for you is for you. While this may be true, whether or not we are in a position to accept and receive our blessing will usually determine IF we get what God has for us. Believe it or not, someone else can get your blessing! When there is a space that needs to be filled, it must be filled. This is the reason Bishop Jakes would always say the words, "Get Ready! Get Ready! Get Ready!" Why? You must prepare yourself to receive what you've been asking God to give you. However, even when we may be ready, sometimes we can miss our season or our blessing because we chose not to receive it when it showed up or we got impatient and chose something else that wasn't ours. Don't get caught doing things out of season. In Miracle Hendrix's book #TakeALoss2Win, he mentioned how he took matters into his own hands and didn't wait on God and made a decision that would alter his life. Had he waited only 3 more days, he wouldn't have lost valuable time that he can never get back. The same with all of us who have lived life long enough to know that if we had the opportunity to know what we know now 10 years ago, there are some things we would have done differently. God has all kinds of blessings waiting on us, but he will not violate our FREE WILL. He gives us that gift for us to use how we see fit. The freedom to choose. While he may try to guide us, during certain seasons of our lives we have ignored the loud and clear signs that were given on which route to take. While all things work together for the good, the choices we make determine the life we live. If the past decisions you have made have not turned out well, it's time to start making better decisions. Otherwise, you'll miss another season. And if you're anything like me, you can't afford to miss any more seasons! One sure way to make sure this doesn't happen is to learn to make better decisions. The better you get at making better decisions, the better decisions you make. Take advantage of the season that you're in. Some people are not going to like the fact that you are trying to make better decisions, but in order for life to get better and for you not to miss anymore seasons, you have to get better. Until next time, I love you all, but The MOST HIGH GOD loves yo more! Armani Valentino --- www.armanivalentino.com #staypositive #keepthefaith #noego #nocomfortzone Do the work, and do it the BEST you can. Do it in and with the "Spirit of Excellence" and I promise you...the money will find you! You won't even have to go looking for the money or go chasing it. You will have people trying to search you out for your services.
Most small business owners are often concerned with GETTING THE MONEY! And while the money is important, it is not nearly as important as creating a good name for finishing the projects and delivering according to what you said you would do. ALL small business owners, myself included, at some point have been a little over zealous and made rookie mistakes (usually happen because you have no mentor/coach) that caused them to "OVER PROMISE & UNDER DELIVER." Too many of these rookie mistakes will totally ruin your name and your business. You can only TALK about what you're going to do for so long before you end up having to PRODUCE some results for a client(s) or customer(s). Otherwise, your credibility goes out the window. You have to DEVELOP your name as a trusted and reliable source. And well... this takes some time and some planning before your product(s) or service(s) being sought after begins to happen. However, as long as you focus on serving and servicing a client(s) and/or a customer(s) in the BEST possible manner in which you can, you will be amazed at the kind of calls, emails, and inquiries that you will receive. In conclusion, DO THE WORK and DO THE BEST YOU CAN EACH TIME! If you have not ordered your copy of #BusinessIsWarfare CD or digital download set, and you are not making the kind of money you would like to make in business, I strongly encourage you to click the picture below. Small Business Advice of the Day: STOP GUESSING! It is okay if you don't know. However, if you're trying to be profitable in business, GUESSING IS NOT THE WAY! Every single time I have lost money in business or had a business to FAIL, it was because I was guessing. The same goes for every other client I know as well. Many small business owners strategy for success is to GUESS. That's why 80-90% are not successful, at all! You can't guess your way to business success. Guessing is NOT a viable business plan. When you don't know, you either pay someone to tell/show you, or you figure it out! Again, most never pay nor do they figure it out! I learned that the time it takes to figure something out could be used making more money, by just paying someone who knows whatever it is I am trying to figure out. If you're trying to have a profitable business, you have to have a strategic marketing plan. There's a Universal law that states, "Like CAUSES produce like EFFECTS!" What this means is, if you make 1 dollar doing something, if you do the same thing a certain number of times, you should be able to to produce a dollar, all things being equal. Otherwise, you would have to be a good guesser to guess upon a viable INCOME over and over again. And, honestly, every successful business owner I know would not credit "guessing" as part of their business strategy. This is the purpose of research and development in many major corporations. They would rather use hundreds and thousands of dollars on Research and Development as opposed to losing millions of dollars launching a product or service that public doesn't want. This is also the purpose of training, accounting departments, and almost every other department in a major corporation. They are all part of the SUCCESS PLAN. Startups and small businesses don't go from one or two person operations to large 400-500 person corporations solely because they had money or investors. The most successful companies have GOALS, OBJECTIVES, and proven STRATEGIES to reach these goals and objectives. Once they know what works, they implement these strategies over and over again! Many times it's not what you know, it's the one or two things that YOU DON'T KNOW that causes success and/or failure of your small business. Do you have a professionally written marketing plan? Do you have a professionally written business plan? Do you have an exit strategy? Do you have a service marketing plan? Until next time... #staypositive #keepthefaith #claimtheincrease #seeyouathetop Fill out the form below if you would like to increase your income. Afterwards, feel to reach out to me for a small business strategy & marketing SUCCESS session. 972-781-8404 Ladies, single/Dating/Unmarried as promised. Here's the video. Don't Waste Your BEST years! #ArmaniValentino --- www.armanivalentino.com #books #relationshipadvice #single #dating #divorced #engaged --- #like #share #repost somebody needs to hear this... CLICK ON THE LINK TO WATCH THE VIDEO... ON FACEBOOK BOTH OF THE BOOKS MENTIONED IN THE VIDEO are currently on sale!
A social media friend of mine, whom I have communicated withover the years, but never met because he lives in Africa, messaged me on Facebook about needing some inspirational quotes last night. I decided I would write this full blog post instead because a quote is often NOT ENOUGH.
--- MaDu, listen Bro... IF you're discouraged, here are a few things to do: 1.) Understand that whatever you are going through is TEMPORARY. It is not forever! As the song goes, "I'm so glad TROUBLE DON'T LAST ALWAYS!" Once you accept the fact that THIS TOO SHALL PASS, you'll feel so much better about everything. 2.) THEN, You have to line up mentally with the desire you're wanting. Meaning, you can't be hypocritical about the change or progress you desire. You can't say to your mind, "I want to lose weight," and when your mind replies back to you, "Ok. Stop eating so much of the wrong things and workout 3 times a week," but you don't. You're out of line with the what you're saying you desire. So, basically DO YOUR PART! 3.) FOCUS on the SOLUTIONS and not the problems. When you know the methodology of solving a problem, you understand that the solution is gained by following the process. Which brings me to the next step... 4.) APPRECIATE the PROCESS! The Bible says, "In ALL things, give thanks! There's no progress without the process. The process can be your ENEMY or it can be your FRIEND. For example: When you submit to the PROCESS of solving a math problem, you get the answer or a very near correct answer. Guess what, life is the same way. Not all your problems in life are going to be basic math. Some of your problems are going to be like Algebra, Geometry, Calculus, Trigonometry, Statistics or those Corporate Finance case studies. Either way, SUBMIT yourself accordingly to the PROCESS and you will PROGRESS faster to your SUCCESS! 5.) Learn from your mistakes and your SUCCESSES. Know that no matter how much people may front like they were born gifted, few people in the world are actually born gifted in any area. Most people (99%) never get it right the first time! Therefore, understand that you probably won't either, and that's okay. Just keep learning. 6.) DON'T QUIT and Be Patient! There are two types of people in life, SUCCESSFUL people and those who quit! Life can be like the long line at the Post Office. Sometimes when you go to the post office and there's a long line outside the door you have two choices, stand in line or leave. If you leave the line, you'll have to come back later if you want to make sure your purpose for coming there is fulfilled. "If you can stay in line long enough, eventually you'll get to the front of the line!" 7.) STAY POSITIVE! It's hard to attract anything positive with a negative mindset and negative surroundings. STAY POSITIVE or FAIL! How do you stay positive? Well, I'll tell you more on that next week in another blog. I hope this helps you Bro! Armani Valentino ### For more info or to book me for a transformational coaching session, radio, TV, media, or business consulting, please email here on my site www.armanivalentino.com You can also call 972-383-9234. "ALL People have problems! Period.
It's the way they handle them that makes the difference." - Armani Valentino When I was younger, I used to think there were people who didn't have any issues or problems because of some sort of socioeconomic, race, religious, physical appearance, neighborhood location, affiliations, or other status. I soon figured out this was not a correct thought. Life is a problem. Actually, it's a series of problems or as I like to call them, challenges! And when you quit on a problem and/or dint learn how to handle it properly, the same problem(s) will continue to be presented to you throughout your life. In mathematics, EVERY PROBLEM HAS A SOLUTION! And the more difficult the problem, there's often more than one methodology of solving the same problem. Life is the same way. The problems we have in all areas of our life have solutions! However, we're often so engrossed in the problem that we can't see OR focus on the solution. And when this happens, we can often lose HOPE. Without HOPE, it's hard to believe and to continue to be open to the mere FACT that there is a viable SOLUTION to the problem(s). I'd like to give you a few ideas to help you with some problems and challenges you may be facing. 1.) Be POSITIVE! This is important because POSITIVE and negative do not ever produce a 100% positive outcome. 2.) Do YOUR PART! We're often perpetuating the very problem we're saying we want solved through our thoughts, words, and actions we display on a regular basis. 3.) ASK FOR HELP! Let GO OF YOUR EGO! Get help even if you have to pay for it! When you don't know, it's okay. When you've gotten it wrong over and over again, you may want to ask someone to show you how to solve the problem. One of the benefits of wiring in groups in High School and College was always the use of other folks mind or a COLLECTIVE MIND greater than all of our own individual minds, to solve the problem. Life is the same way. Get a coach or mentor(s) to help you get things in order. 4.) Count YOUR blessings, and not someone else's. In our society today, there is still a desire to compare ourselves to others, on a daily basis. While this can be good in certain circumstances, as a way of deciding how blessed you are is not an adequate account of the true level of just how BLESSED you are. Count your blessings and appreciate the blessings you carry with you every single day --- eyes, eyesight, skin, nails, hair, teeth, being able to breathe, sense of taste, touch, walk, talk, sense of smell, use of your legs, arms, toes, joints, digestive system, healthy cells in your body, and so much more. In conclusion, Don't focus on the problem, focus on the solution! #staypositive #dosomething #productive use your #faith and #imagination #success will be yours! Get a good #lifecoach or two #treatyourself #be #beautiful inside and out. --- #ArmaniValentino #lookgood #smellgood #feelgood #eatgood #love #joy #peace #health #wealth #happiness #true #success #claimtheincrease #seeyouatthetop #iallowmygood #iEmbraceTheUnknown Available for transformational life coaching sessions by calling or texting 972-383-9234 Autographed copies of My books are available on this site in the STORE or wherever books are sold. buy books STORE Are YOU feeling STUCK? Earlier this week, I received a long text message from a recent coaching client. She was struggling with feeling STUCK in multiple areas of her life, for a while. Like many of us at certain times in life, issues with family, friends, self sabotage, lack of a burning desire concerning personal goals and aspirations in life, overall balance, anger, and clarity of direction about her personal path, were weighing her down. She told me she was interested in signing up for someone else's coaching program, and then asked me did I do coaching. She attended an event I spoke at, and had purchased a couple of my books (This Is Why I Won't Marry You & How To Heal from a Broken Heart). I told her I did do personal life coaching, but I don't promote it that often. I then let her know the kind of coaching I did was considered TRANSFORMATIONAL COACHING, and that I would not accept her money unless she was willing to follow whatever tasks I asked of her. Why? The processes and methodologies I use are a little unorthodox to the average individual. She agreed, paid her fees, and we met the next evening. Here is the text message she recently sent me (7 days after our first session): Hi Mr. Valentino! I know it's late. However, I have to give u this.....So many amazing things have been taking place in this week since our session. I also began reading your book about broken hearts. Well, this week I have had deep conversations with like 4 of my exes(healing). They called me out the blue. Then, on the snow days I played with my brother and dad(reconciliation). Lol... Now, tonight I took some me time and went to bingo and my sister came towards the end. When I saw her, I thought about the baby, but I pushed it out my mind and was like it's the past and leave it there(forgiveness). Somebody walked by and said, "Jackpot Bingo!" I thought back to you saying, "CLAIM the INCREASE!" Well....I did and bingo'd for $750!!!! #blessedwithfavor --- A. Dixon, Texas WOW! CAN YOU SAY BREAKTHROUGHS??? All of what was mentioned in the text message is a small piece of all the amazing manifestations that have happened in her life in just 2 weeks. Transformational coaching has the ability to move you past issues you have been dealing with for years and help you break through to the manifestations you've been desiring. So, far, each time her anger was tested she has been able to pass the test. This shows growth and proves the inputs during our coaching session have been paying off in huge dividends on multiple fronts. All successful people have a coach OR coaches, of some kind. The question is, DO you? If you have been struggling to achieve balance in your life OR may be feeling STUCK, call to set up your transformational coaching session(s) in the areas of forgiveness, weight loss, relationships, and small business/marketing. 972-781-8404. Sessions can be face-to-face or by phone. |
AuthorBest-selling author Armani Valentino. Archives
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